[Marta] Don't hand me a dead fish

Marta Bigda

It's not that easy to write about gestures of your own nation since it comes to you naturally. But it's not like I don't pay any attention to, for example, different types of handshakes. From these little gestures comes knowledge about your interlocutor.

A horrible "dead fish" handshake gives me a hint that the person I'm dealing with doesn't feel confident. The "squeezer" handshake isn't good either - should I say it's macho? The "nice to meet you I look straight in your eyes with a light smile" handshake is best and I guess in Poland you should greet people like that.

A lot of girls greet their friends, male and female, by kissing the air by their cheeks. I'm not a fan of that, but it's so popular I felt compelled to mention it. I prefer to greet close friends with a bear-hug and the rest of people with a handshake.

There is a specific gesture which I didn't see in any other place in the World. When we are greeting our friend across the street, often instead of nodding we are lifting the head vigorously with a smile which means "hey, what's up?".

Poland is a country of (mostly) wary and sad people. I mean people that you're passing on the streets, not people on parties. Anyway, that's why we're all wearing black coates or jackets during cold seasons and that's why when you decide to smile to a stranger it could be picked suspicious or as a flirt (if you're a neat lady smiling to a man or vice versa). But then you can look in the eyes of a stranger with no fear. It's normal here. Despite this, don't try it on broad-shouldered men in sweat suits. Just trust me.

The gesture which I find offensive, except of the well-known middle finger, is something we call "a gesture of Kozakiewicz". We name it after a sportsman who "accidentally" displayed this gesture towards inimical crowd of Russians after winning the gold medal in the 1980 Summer Olympics (Poland was under the thumb of Russia that time). The English-speaking fellows call it "bras d'honneur" (which is a Fench phrase for "arm of honor"). An arm is bent to make an L-shape, with the closed palm pointing upwards, while the other hand then grips the biceps of the bent arm, and the bent forearm is then raised vertically emphatically. To understand the meaning, do this gesture in front of a mirror saying "up yours!".

But don't get me wrong, dear Reader, I wish to bid you farewell with a smile.

Marta Bigda from Poland